I have a secret.
Before I was awakened and initiated in Black thought and consciousness, I was addicted to …white girls. I have been with women of every race, but my trysts with Japanese Korean, and Latinas was more out of novelty than anything else. But white girls werent just novelties for me…white girls were something else entirely. They were my weakness, my Achilles heel, my guilty pleasure. I guess you could say that I didn’t know better. I was a victim of the pathological subliminal self-hatred that most of us are subjected to and have been since we came to this country.
But as I said, I now know better.
The funny thing is, since I have come into this community, I have stood side by side with Black scholars who talk big ole ish about the value and importance of the Black woman. They espouse their love of natural sistas rockin natural hair. They eschewed mainstream hip hop, could quote Cheik and build with the best of the 5 Percenters. And then….then…..their rides pull up and whose in the driver seat?
A white girl.
Something is not quite right with the picture. Its kinda like that one clip…
Now this phenomenon of white girl addiction has always been epic in its proportions within the Black community. Malcolm X fell victim (of course, that was before he was Malcolm X, but still). Thurgood Marshall, the first African American to serve on the Supreme Court of the United States was married to one. King Kong was surrounded by beautiful black topless women, but he catches sight of one white woman and goes ape-shit, swimming across the Atlantic, climbing skyscrapers, unleashing hell to get at this white girl. Frederick Douglass was married to his white second wife until the day he died. (He dismissed the controversy surrounding the marriage saying his first marriage honored his mother’s race and his second honored his father’s…whatever the hell that means). Tiger fell victim. Michael Jackson, most black atheletes, on and on.
Im trying to make sense out of the whole thing. My “consciousness” tells me that there are a few rationalizations that the brothas make to explain their addiction:
- “White girls are easier to deal with”
- “Black women are angry/trifling/etc”
- “White women are freakier than black women”
- “White girls know how to treat a Black man”
- “I cant find a sista who dont have three kids and a baby daddy gettin ready to get out of the Pen”
I want to point out that brothas who think the grass is greener on the other side are wrong. You get just as many problems with white women as you do with Black women. For instance, while Black women tend to resort to anger, white women resort to tears…and theres nothing worse than people seeing a Black man make a white woman cry in public. Im pretty sure in some parts of the South thats still a felony. White women arent any freakier than Black women either. Im not going to go into details, but some of the nastiest experiences I have had were with the Sistas. I will say that white women tend to be alot more passive. I think all of us who have dated white women have had this same scenario go down:
I was dating this girl one time and she was annoying the hell out of me one time when we were out for drinks with some friends. After a while it led to an argument, not really an argument, but it was me exploding because I had been drinking and I said, “Just go home, go the f*ck home, take my keys, go to my apartment and do not go to sleep until I get there.” Son…. She said, “OK.” She actually did that, and that let me know that you just can’t give men that type of power in a relationship, I had to get away from her. - from Single Black Male
So its not that white women “treat their men better” per se. Its just that they are more passive. They would rather agree with everything you have to say and want to do than create friction. A scene from Coming to America comes to mind
Now after months of meditating on the issue and running it past a few of my Accountability Group brothas and Tweeples (like @AsiaBrown @BlackGod917 and @WmWesterfield), I think I got the origins if this whole infatuation with white girls figured out. Feel free to correct me if you think Im wrong on any of these issues.
Media Influence: I remember this one track on UGKs old Underground Kingz album (this was before my Great Awakening, when I was still allowing garbage media to influence my psyche) where this cat named Pimpin Ken went on for like 2 straight minutes on the benefits of white hoes over Black Ones.Tyler Perry’s archetypal white (or high yellow) man coming in to save the miserable Black woman from her miserable Black man in all his movies dont help at all. You know what else doesnt help? These “problems with the Black community” news specials. They have the whole world (including Blacks in America and Africa) thinking that we Blacks in America are all poverty, illiteracy, and disenfranchisement. With this image in mind, interracial dating is more prevalent amongst Blacks in America than amongst any other race anywhere else…like we are trying to get away from ourselves and breed ourselves out of existence.
See, Black men and women dont value other Black men and women for the above reasons as well as a lack of knowledge of self and the value of ones blood heritage. As the Hon. Marcus Garvey once said, “If Blacks knew more of their glorious past, then they would be more inclined to respect themselves!” But since the grand majority have no knowledge of self, and we are all taught that “White is Right” (albeit subliminally), then we subconsciously value the white woman while simultaneously devaluing ourselves and our Black counterparts. Its an ugly situation.
If Black men understood the Afrocentric role of the woman as Queen and co-regent (as opposed to the white/Christian stance that the woman is the “weaker vessel” and subordinate to the man) then the Black woman would be valued for her strength, instead of scorned for it! Media, religion, and so called education are all means of indoctrinating Black men and women in racial self-hate!
With all that being said, I am proposing a White Girl Detox program (pay attention, @WmWesterfield!…lol, just kidding. Or am I?).
Step 1: The Eye Bounce – If you have found yourself eye-f*cking white girls without realizing it, as soon as you are conscious of what you are doing, bounce your eyes away. You cant help the first look, but you can help the looks after that. Besides, eye-f*cking evey female that you see is uncivilized and disgusting, and these looks at others don’t go unnoticed by other people.
Step 2: Notice the aesthetic beauty of Black women exclusively. Think about what you love about our women beyond the obvious and sexual. Black women have mannerisms and expressions that no other women on the planet can imitate.
Step 3: Meditate on the real reasons for your attraction (addiction?) to white women. More often than not, you arent going to like the real reasons that you find! You might come to realize that the real problem lies not with Black women, but with you (your conflict resolution skills, your lack of empathy, your poor leadership abilities). Improving yourself in any of these areas would be an improvement in your overall manhood and mental health!
Will these steps work? I dont know. But I have tried them and they have changed my whole perspective on my attraction!