This post is specifically for the single fellas. Ladies, you get your turn in the next post.
I was in a cafe with a brotha the other day whose knowledge I had come to respect. He could read the medu neter and lullaby the story of Ausar. He could quote the Koran. He could cite Dr. Khalid Abdul Muhammad. His freestyle was conscious and rhythmic.
He was the manifestation of Black power, and yet his weakness, his Kryptonite, the chink in his chain mail was …sex. His train of thought was repeatedly broken by every woman that walked by. He would stop in mid-sentence with a “damn!” in response to every pair of lips and hips that crossed his field of view. His schedule revolved around gaining physical access to the next female. He never stopped “putting his bid in”.
Over time, my respect for the brotha diminished; there was something dishonest about his behavior when it came to women. I knew this, because like most men, I had experienced it myself. Once upon a time, sex ruled everything around me.
Dr. Lalaila O. Afrika said it best in his timeless book, African Holistic Health:
“Black folks are exploited and enslaved by unholistic sexual behavior. A purely sensual approach to sex is the approach that breeding humans use. Unholistic Black folks quote Black literature, speak about the greatness of Africa, wear African clothes, some have African names, reclaim a natural food African diet, wear African hairstyles, talk about being Black and Proud and go to bed at night and have sex just like they are still owned by the white slave master. Perhaps, they are owned by the master. ”
As a part of becoming conscious, everything starts to come under the scope of Afrocentricity – including sex. But whereas sex has power over men who have not yet transcended to higher stages of awareness, the man who would call himself conscious must have gained power over his own energy, sexual and otherwise.
Synergistic Energy Xchange (S.E.X.)
Sex is more than physical – it is the exchange of energy and life force. When a man surrenders his seed to a woman, he is surrendering his life force, his energy, his universal essence to that woman. During sex, intercourse an intensive energy exchange between the partners takes place.
Notice I said exchange. There is no one-sided “giving and receiving” here.
Male energy is no more dominant than female energy, and both can be exchanged during sex. The question of the dominance of ones energy can only be answered when the energies of another party are present. In other words, your womans energy may counteract aspects of your energy, and vice vera. So just as a woman’s body is able to consume and interact with a mans energy through her chakras, so too can a man’s body consume and interact with a womans energy.
Now, the manifestation of your energy in her body will be different from the manifestation of her energy within your body. Over time, the woman often takes on her sexual partners outlook and philosophies about life. She starts to mirror his ways and his vibrations. The male, however, absorbs the spiritual disposition of his woman. The woman may gain emotional power over the man, as the man may gain the power to shape the perspective of the woman.
For a woman to gain power over a man, sex isnt always a prerequisite. Even bringing a woman into your car, your home, or your social circle has the power to alter your field of energy (known as the eighth chakra, or the aura) between the two of you.
Hit It and Quit It
So what should all the above say to a man who thinks that “sex is just sex”, and that theres no harm in “hit it and quit it”?
I pose this question: What happens when you have sex with a woman who is having ongoing sexual relationships with multiple men, and brings their energy to your sphere?
From what we have learned above, we know that she has the competing, contradictory, and potentially subtractive life force of multiple men swirling around inside of her, competing for dominance and creating emotional instability. This is a disease of the spirit (whereas disease is defined as any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society) – one that can be passed on as easily as an STD.
You see, the most conscious amongst us understand that the strength of a man isnt demonstrated by his ability to pump every female full of his essence, but by the ability to see the woman before him with his third eye. As a people becoming more conscious of ourselves, and more equipped to battle the evils of western materialism, it is more important now than ever before to look beyond hips, lips, and fingertips.
There is no such thing as hit it or quit it. The physical engagement may come to an end, but the exchange may create long term effects for years to come. I spend a considerable amount of time expressing the importance of screening men to the women I come across. We men would do well to take the same advice to heart.
Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile.